Thursday, April 26, 2007

Jaslo's parody

A "druid priestess" offers monomaniacal extracts and ruminations on all things Scottish.

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Jaslo said...

Jaslo Eliza McRae Moskovitz
The Book of Everything
Moby Dick Parody Assignment
April 21, 2007

Etymology

Supplied by an ecstatic Druid Priestess at the top of the cairn of her favorite Uncle—as well as a disenchanted, (once heartily Nationalistic) Professor of Celtic Studies at the University of Ruadh on Skye in Scotland, of course.

Priestess: Glens, crags, lochs and pine copses that ceilidh with clouds, a womb of worlds. Kindred and tongues and charms from now and then and always turn us ectastic.

Professor: Scotland is a political division of Great Britain with a population which surpasses 4,957,000, and has an area of about 30,414 sq miles. It comprises the northern portion of the island of Great Britain with surrounding islands. Scotland is separated from England by the Tweed River, the Cheviot Hills, the Liddell River, and Solway Firth. The North Sea touches its eastern side and the Atlantic Ocean its Western side. Edinburgh acts as its capital and contains its newly established Parliament since 1999. Glasgow is its largest city and was once the country’s foremost spot of industry. The country boasts rich and distinct history, culture and languages.

Extracts

Supplied by a Library Manager of Scottish Descent who now resides in a Northern California city and listens to BBC Scotland during her long and dreary commute:

“We brushed the dirt off, held it to the light.
The obverse showed us Scotland, and the head
of a red deer, the antler- glint had fled
but the fine cut could still be felt. All right:
we turned it over, read easily One Pound,
but then the shock of Latin, like a glass,
Republica Scotorum, sent across
such ages as we guessed but never found
at the worn edge where once the date had been
and where as many fingers had gripped hard
as hopes their silent race had lost or gained.
The marshy scurf crept up to our machine,
sucked at our boots. Yet nothing seemed ill-starred.
And least of all the realm the coin contained.”

“The Coin” Edwin Morgan

“Oh, ye’ll tak’ the high road an’ I’ll tak’ the low
road,
An’ I’ll be in Scotland before ye;
But me and my true love will never meet again,
On the bonnie, bonnie banks o’ Loch Lomond.”

Loch Lomond, Refrain

“You have sensible women here [in England] but then, they are very devils—censorious, uncharitable, sarcastic—the women in Scotland have twice—thrice their freedom, with all their virtue—and are very conversable and agreeable—their educations are more finished. ”

Frances Burney


“Stands Scotland where it did?”

William Shakespeare Macbeth. Act iv. Sc. 3.




Faire


Call me Eliza. Too recently to reflect with relish, having peremptorily started my bachelors degree at a University in the Americas, with the only funds available to me at the discretion of my parents; and nothing particular to interest me at my present institution or indeed country, I thought I would fly a far a bit and see the rainier part of the world. Oh, Scotland! This country represents a way I have of avoiding detrimental neurosis and getting some curl back into my brittle locks. When, as is usually the case, I find myself twitching at the eyes, whenever it is a hot, dry, L.A. August in my spirit: when I find myself watching the same agitating episodes of Six Feet Under and reading the same stories of a fallen Hollywood idol in Us Weekly, and especially when my O.C.D. takes such a hold on me that I must call my psychiatrist for more prozac to abstain from flinging sharp pencils at the heads of fellow students in the row in front of me, then, I imagine, its definitely time I reserve a seat on British Airways, a one way ticket to Edinburgh. Scotland has become my substitute for fake tanner, a hummer, MacDonalds and the American Dream; I sleepily (as I must sedate myself to fly) board the plane. This segue might surprise you although I don’t know what does. If you but knew, all people in their own manifestations at some time or another, cherish some amusement in wondering what those men wear under their fanciful kilts.
I always go to Scotland as a student because of to the wholesome exercise of mind, body, and spirit, and the certainty of a visa at customs. No doubt my going abroad for a year at Edinburgh University served part of larger scheme of the karmic wheel. Part of the headline, in a manner of perspective, might have read,



“Grand Contested Election for the Presidency of the United States”
“Abroad Program to Scotland by one Eliza.”
“Bloody Battle in Affghanastan.”

Though I cannot tell why the mystical wands of fate sent me to Scotland for study while others fell into magnificent adventures of love or died tragically and impoverished, I recall the series of events that led to my departure and my own designated performance in the land of Alba !

Languages

I would now put before you a brief description of the languages of the Scottish people which have long fascinated me. I will try, as much as much as a mere Californian can, to describe the richness and dignity of the tongues of Scottish folk.
The character of the Scottish nation has changed since the early days of Scottish Gaelic’s dominance and much of its heritage has been surrendered to Anglo culture. Scotland deserves to perpetuate its culture and its language as its singularity and beauty mark it for something brilliant. The British Empire, which got its power from the English throne, has functioned as an imperialist power for centuries. So, too, did they impose their dominant culture and language upon the tiny kingdom of Scotland and the Gaelic—
speaking natives and gradually stripped away Gaelic tradition and pride, leaving behind shame and apathy. Although the oppressed language boasts beauty and intricacy, the most compelling argument for its survival rests in its ability to communicate the unique perceptions of Gaelic thought. I can vouchsafe that upon my own meetings with Englishman and Scotsman, the Scotsman always proves the more elegant of the two in any comparison of speech. I cannot guess whether its from the verdant Scottish air or the quality of thought which no doubt a Scot possesses.
The social implications and perceptions of the Scots Dialect/Language, which in present days, far outweigh those of precious Gaelic speakers, represent a multi-faceted and changing set of nuances and class markers. Many speakers of Scots feel ashamed of their language despite this dialect once representing the language of the nation. Despite the songlike eloquence and power in Scots, many speakers attempt to learn and speak Standard English to escape their native vocal patterns. Other speakers view Scots as a part of their National identity and speak their regional dialect proudly, some even advocating for more efforts of preservation and education. Scots grammar differs from the grammar of Standard English. “Gonnae no dae that!” represents an excellent example of some unique Scots grammar. The phrase literally means, “Please desist from doing that!” One can easily hear the more pleasing sensation of the Scots as opposed to the rather sharp-edged jab of the Englishman’s vocalization
The distinct lexicon of Scots exists as an ever-changing entity within the language. Although Scots shares many words with English, it also possesses vocabulary from Old Norse, Middle Dutch, Anglo- Norman, Old French, Latin and Gaelic, not to mention words of its own devising. Its diversity of origin, adds to its intrigue and mystery. Some examples of purely Scots vocabulary are; haggis (a Scottish delicacy of grains and sheep entrails, cooked in the bladder of a sheep), kirk (small church), ken (know), gey (very), aye (yes, alright) etc.—Like English, Scots has been undergoing a decline in traditional vocabulary, though it has gained slang vocabularies used by Urban Youth. Whilst I traveled the cities of Scotland I delighted in overheard conversations of such slang, the loveliness I possess not the skill to recreate to you now.
Due to the different varieties of pronunciation that exist in Scots according to region and individual proclivity, a common description of the pronunciation of Broad Scots can be difficult to reveal without becoming too limited and general, yet certain aspects of the language remain for the most part constant. Scottish vowel length acts as a distinctive marker in the language/dialect. Changes throughout history and to the present have and continue to occur in the dialect/ language of Scots. Scots, like English, stemmed partially from Anglo Saxon. Unlike English, however, Scots gained many of its aspects from Gaelic, a Celtic Language that once held dominance over speakers in Ireland and Northern parts of Scotland, as well as speakers of various other languages once residing in the Northern British Isles. Gaelic is the gem of the languages of Scotland. The diminishing of the population of native speakers reawakens a violent urge in my soul to revenge its cause against the imperialist murderers.
The word “Scots,” for many people outside the British Isles, conjures to mind not the name of a dialect or a language but images of kilted men, broad swords, and wild rolling tongues. Many, unfamiliar with the speaking patterns of the Scottish, assume that Scottish people speak English, simply with an incomprehensible accent and a pleasantly melodic inflection. In reality, the languages in Scotland are all their own. Although the Scots dialect/language and English can be mutually intelligible, they differ enough from one another to constitute the heading of two separate languages. Scots, which has regional variations throughout Scotland, also possesses a unique lexicon, pronunciation, and syntax. Whether Scots should be considered a dialect of English or a language unto itself has been a long-lived and yet unsolved debate and one which I will not attempt to answer. Scots clearly exists as a full medium of expression and communication whether we chose to define it as a dialect or a language. If one views Scots as a language, distinct from English, then Scots itself boasts many regional dialects within the borders of Scotland. And Gaelic will remain whole and alive whether in ears, hearts or the infinite.

The Romantic Queen

Enemies and ill wishers surrounded Mary Queen of Scots throughout the course of her life. She faced resistance from supporters of Queen Elizabeth I, those opposed to her Catholic faith, and hopeful ascenders of her throne. Still, in reading the love sonnets attributed to her, a determined character speaks through the words. Whether Mary Stuart wrote the poems or not, an analysis of their rhetorical features demonstrates that they were written by a person with a rich spiritual life, an enormous assurance of her own survival despite misfortune, and a passionate love.

Poetry

“Scotland was found on Jupiter. That’s true./ We lost all track of time, but there it was.” The quotation from Scottish poet, Edwin Morgan demands the question, (to say the least) which Scotland was found on Jupiter? Does he mean the imaginary country of his own conjuring? the literal land on which he was born? For there seem to be many visions of Scotland in Morgan’s poetry alone, or perhaps only one that, like Morgan’s log and dog, can change itself. Scotland’s poetry hints at what is Scotland, a place more than what it seems to be and it can change into anything like the spark of ignition from a spacecraft. The sound of Scottish poetry, like the lingering refrain of an ancient ballad, resonates in a poignant manner that transcends time.
From the page or from a voice, to the ear and into the mind, Scottish poetry creates an auditory landscape inside an audience’s imagination. Whether the landscape consists of images, shapes, or color, plot, character or drama; words or sounds; the fusion of languages that comprise the Scottish lexicon governs a poem’s entrance into a mind. The poet’s unique expression of his/her Scottish perspective molds the verse and prepares it for its course through the channels of thought. The poetry of Scotland provides its audience with a distinct sound world from that of English poetry, even when it comes to us though the medium of English words. Beyond a mention of Highland life or a chippie down a Glasgow street, the poetry contains subtle aspects of inimitable placement in a location that breathes its magnificent history and character. We will use English to examine how through Scottish Gaelic, Scots and other regional dialects, the tension in Scotland’s various languages and dialects, and lastly the self- awareness of Scottish poetry as itself, create the distinct sound world of this genre.

₤ ******Here ends the first fragment of what I, Eliza, will call Mairi Dubh ; A Tale of the Great Green North. An Encyclopedic Novel in its rudimentary stages.

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